In a lot of ways I am a quitter. I don’t think that’s a bad thing, I’m not being self-loathing, I’m actually being very real and accepting of who I am. I think life is far too short to spend time and energy on something I don’t feel passionate about. I’ve quit jobs, I’ve quit toxic people, I’ve quit bad habits, and I’ve left unhealthy situations. This is not to say that I quit everything I do. I stick with the things that are worth my time.
I have been a member of the YWCA for 4 whole years! In the last 4 years I have been fat, I have been less fat, I have felt defeated, I have cried, I have worked hard, I have grown, I have learned, I have felt misguided, and I have devoted so much time to learning about myself, and my health. I have done a lot of things in the last 4 years but I have never given up. I have never quit my quest to be healthy.
It took me 4 years to get my bachelor’s degree, and I would dare say getting through college was easier than trying to lose weight. Working hard to lose weight and seeing no results is one of the most emotionally taxing things I have ever been through. And continue to go through.
Every single day I want to give up. Every single day I wonder if going to the gym is even worth my time. Why bother going when I am still going to be fat? I wish that I didn’t care about obesity. I wish that I could just accept being lazy. But I can’t. I can’t quit the gym. I don’t want to quit the gym.
And if you’re a Friends nerd, like myself:
I could go on, and on about this being a never ending journey, and that health is defined by more than being skinny, but I would just be a broken record. I’ve had many, many aha moments about health, workouts, and nutrition. I’ve fallen in and out of love with fitness many times. I have wanted to throw in the towel a million times, but I haven’t. I have never stopped trying to better myself.
I may not be skinny, but I know so much more than I did 4 years ago. I know more about nutrition than I ever knew was possible to learn. It sometimes baffles me at how far I’ve come in the last 4 years. I may quit a lot of things, but I stick with the stuff that’s worth my time. I put my time and energy into the stuff I am passionate about.
So YWCA, thank you for the last 4 years!
Here is a look at what I’ve learned, where I’ve been, and how far I’ve come.