Adventures in Yoga: Some People

Let me tell you a little story about my yoga class yesterday. As of lately I have been attending a Vinyasa yoga class. Vinyasa is a broad term used to describe the act of flowing through poses, while connecting breath with the movements. It’s a step above Hatha yoga, which is the beginning class that my gym offers, and it focuses more on the basic poses, and less on flowing between each pose.

Anyway, yesterday I went to class and everything started out just fine. Then 10 minutes after the class started some guy came in late. Now, I don’t mind people coming to class a little late. 5-10 minutes, whatever, as long as you don’t disrupt others. This is especially true if it is a yoga class, where the environment is quiet, and people are focusing on their breathing.

This guy however must have a very different idea of coming in late to class. He wore flip flops, and flopped his way across the class to get a mat. A mat that he then proceeded to drop down and allow to slap the floor.

Fine, I thought this would be the end of class disruptions. Nope, no such luck. 25 minutes after the class has started (the class is only 55 minutes long) a lady decides to come in. And again, this lady must have had a very different idea of coming to class late. She was wearing wind pants. Wind pants! Who the heck still wears wind pants?

So as I am in downward dog all I can hear is swish swish swish swish swish as she walks to get her mat. Then instead of actually participating in class she just sits on her mat, doing her own stretches and breathing so heavy that it almost sounds like she is snoring.

And of course the story does not end here. The instructor had us move into double pigeon pose, which requires the stacking of legs. It looks like this:

double pigeon
double pigeon

So as the instructor was explaining this pose, she compared the stacking of the legs to the stacking of lincoln logs. Then she said “well, if you all even know what lincoln logs are.” The guy who came in late shouted (shouted!)  “I DO!!” and raised his hand. Dude, no shouting in a yoga class.

Finally we are approaching our last pose before the relaxation period, and a phone starts ringing. And whose phone do you suppose it was? The lady who came in 25 minutes late. But she doesn’t realize it’s her phone right away, so it rings and rings before wind pants finally swishes her way across the room to turn it off.
So with all of the disruption I was looking forward to the relaxation portion of the class. I lay on my mat, close my eyes and try to focus on relaxing my body. When suddenly the lady in front of me has a coughing attack. She didn’t cough throughout the entire class, but laying down must have triggered it. Her cough startled me, which then sent adrenaline running through my system. It felt like little needles poking my skin. Although I shouldn’t be surprised anymore because the lady has coughed during relaxation for the last 3 class periods.
Needless to say it was not a calming class. I did not feel refreshed. I don’t blame the coughing lady, because you can’t exactly control that. And to the guy yelling in class, I am thinking he just had too much energy and should attend a kick boxing class or something. But to the lady that came in outrageously late, wearing wind pants, with a loud cell phone: you’re on my list!